It’s just the way life goes…
My heart is crying
for a better day and a better night
where I can see your smile
light up your eyes,
without wondering if it’ll be the last time.
My soul is praying
for a longer while
where I don’t have to wonder
if you’ll live or die,
where I don’t have to think
if I survive, will I rise,
will I get over and get through
or succumb to my mind.
They look at me with sorrow
not knowing what to say
sitting there silently
choking out the usual same
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through”
all I say is “you really don’t want to”
because before my nightmare
become a reality,
I used to imagine too;
used to imagine your funeral,
used to imagine a future
where I go shopping for a grave
repeating scenarios that end the same.
These are the moments
I wish my friends were here,
the friends I used to know
the friends who I let go
and even though I can’t go back
a part of me wishes I could,
because those times I never felt alone
they knew how my silence spoke
I didn’t need any filler words,
just someone to hold me as I choked,
and now as I stand on my own,
I whisper
it’s just the way life goes…
Kiran Speaks 